ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
