i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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