We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Girls should come with a carfax report
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
