what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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