if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
