I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
