I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize