the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
