Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
