one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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