lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
