Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just found puke in my bra..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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