how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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