So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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