I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
