So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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