these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We're too hungover to prance.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
