No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
