you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
