i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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