Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
