I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
