she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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