dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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