...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize