i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Found your dick twin last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
