Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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