I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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