Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am available for nakedness
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
