their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
