Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My penis needs a shock collar
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
