really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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