So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize