Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
