We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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