Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
