Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
