Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
