That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
