If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
