i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize