Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
