Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
