I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
