So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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