White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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