thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
