I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
