god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
