I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
