Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize