your thong is hanging out like whoa
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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