just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I am midnight drunk by noon
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
