You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
