yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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