i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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