She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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