Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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