Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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