Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
