Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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