Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
