So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
