Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
MIDGETS
????
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
