are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
