all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
